Connor started kindergarten today. Boy, that sentence is packed full of emotion as I type it...might not read like it later, but let me tell you!
The lead-up to his big day was nothing short of overwhelming for me. Really and truly, there was not much to actually do aside from buying school supplies, uniforms, shoes, getting to parent orientation and meet the teacher night.......well, I guess there WAS quite a bit of prep. My emotional and physical state came to a giant head last week and the faucet turned on--full-blast. But, once I got it out and saw how excited Connor was getting, I have been so excited for this day to get here.
Today, of course, my eyes wouldn't shut after 4am, while my little kindergartener slept soundly til I woke him at 7:10.
As I pattered around the house, made his lunch, got myself ready for work, I began to remember my own school mornings. I don't really remember my first day of kindergarten. I do remember my first day of 2nd grade (in a new school) very well. There was me, little miss something, in a big room full of other someones and I knew nobody. I remember very distinctly 'ordering' ice cream with lunch when I turned in my lunch money to the teacher. I envisioned three scoops of glorious strawberry ice cream, topped by a bright red cherry. Wha!!??I know, right??!! Later, as I sat finishing what I'm sure was a very sad and forgettable cafeteria lunch, a solid brick ice cream sandwich CLUNKED onto the table beside me. Well, it was strawberry....sigh...
I remember those familiar sounds while waking early on school days--the sound of my mama walking down the hallway, her make-up containers hitting the vanity tray as she got ready of a morning, the way the birds sounded as the sun peeked out between the trees, my ticking alarm clock on my nightstand, zippers, closet doors...
This morning, I wondered what Connor's sounds would be...what would he later remember of his school mornings.
I sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his back. He grinned when he opened his eyes and saw me there. I saw him remember what today was (he noticed the outfit that he'd taken out last night....yep, the child was so excited that he laid out all his clothes the night before, including his shoes.)
Breakfast was the same as almost every other morning. Waffles with nutella.
Aidan was so sweet about the whole thing too--he is really going to miss long days with Connor. They started playing with a toy light sabre, and I teared up thinking about how there would be fewer and fewer mornings when they could just play on and on for hours.
There was no drama getting to the car. I think he was relieved to see other kids walking in with there parents--probably noticed that the other kids were nervous like him. He took a little charge of us--kind of herded us ('come on mama, we need to go this way' and stuff like that).
As we walked into to the school building, I was so surprised that Connor walked on ahead of us...by himself! It was just what I needed to see.
He was so proud to hang his backpack on his hook and put his lunch bag in his cubby. Mrs. Maeyeart, his teacher, had play-doh for each child to play at their seats. I could tell we were embarrassing Connor a little with all our pictures...but he really took it in stride and I think that I even noticed a little pride from him for us.
Leaving. Walking out was not tearful for me like I thought it would be. I guess if he'd been sad or crying, I would never have made it out. But, praise the Lord, he looked happy and proud of his little accomplishment..making it to his first day...getting here.
I went back a couple times and peeked in the door (not crazy...all within like 5 minutes. I just had to get one more look.). He would feel me watching and turn, grin, and wave like 'I see you...okay...see you after school...sheesh'.
Oh, and we'd given him a special first-day gift. A small, pocket-size compass. He loves stuff like that, and he's enjoyed figuring out how to use it. I told him that it was a symbol and was supposed to remind him while he's away from us at school that he is never lost as long as he has faith in Jesus...that He is always with him and will never lose him. He's not let it out of his sight since he got it. I love little boys. Especially my little....nope, BIG boy :)
Pick-up: I couldn't get to school fast enough to pick him up. We were 20 minutes early. I resisted the urge to go in and do a bit more peeking. A few moms and dads walked up--I could tell they were trying to stay put too (one asked,"can't we go in? are we just supposed to wait out here?!"). Finally, the troops came filing out behind the teachers. Connor caught my eye behind the glass door and waved great big. He was fine...in one piece...smiling...happy....whew!!
Now, my little chatterbox is anything but chatter-ey about what I want to hear about. My strategy to get a few kindergarten tid bits out of him was to NOT ask directly. I usually give him 5-10minutes of quiet in the car. Finally, he tells me:
- it was pretty fun. you know, it was pretty fast...like Mrs. Stephanie's and Mrs. Kelley's.
- you were right Mama...the teacher told us where to go. (he had been a little anxious about being able to find the bathroom and where to eat lunch)
- you know, we didn't even have naptime. But, I'll still bring my taggie blanket and Old Puppy in my backpack everyday...just. in. case.
- well, I already made a friend. (I asked what was his or her name). It was a boy. (oh, well, what was his name?). Well, I didn't ask him that! I looked under the table and then he looked under the table and then we just kept doing that over and over...so, we're friends!
As I rehashed the day in my mind later, I smiled to myself thinking about how small he felt in my arms as an infant, the countless hours spent pacing the nursery trying to get him to nap, the days exploring the backyard and digging in the sandbox, the hundreds of thousands of hugs and kisses given and taken, sending him to time-out...and not sending him to time-out when I should've, making mama-mistakes, being rewarded with successes, praying for his soul and heart and character, and being there each time he did anything..for the first time........and, realizing I'm sending him alone for a big part of his day to learn, discover, wonder, and do things for the first time without me. It is so hard and brings me so much pride at the same time. He is my awesome, sweet, smart, and loving little boy--the best 5 year old I know.
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