Things we can't live without

A lot of thought these days has gone into reducing out grocery store, etc. budget--after the recent credit card statement showed way. . .too. . .much spent nearly every 7 days or so at HEB.  In my mind, I thought that my market trips were averaging about every 2 weeks or so, but the bill does not lie.

I've tried to cut coupons, but usually I only find coupons for the stuff that I don't need but then end up buying anyway...or I just forget the coupons at home over and over again until they expire. 

My organization in this venture is VERY lacking. 

I've also tried better meal planning to prevent those extra impulsive trips to the store.  But, inevitably, I realize that we're low on eggs or milk right after I get home and have to go back in a couple of days--when I usually spend just as much money as I did just a few days prior.  How is that possible?!!

Richard is not completely innocent in this either.  His trips (on the sly mind you) consist of expensive coffee, chocolate desserts, and imported beer.  I'm sure the cashiers are laughing to themselves when they see him coming.

There are, however, a few items that, regardless of when the last trip was, we have to replenish our stock if out:

1.  Ketsup--Connor wouldn't eat half of his food if he couldn't dip it in ketsup.

2.  Milk--Connor and Richard alone drink about 3 gallons of milk a week!

3.  Chicken nuggets--I always said that I wouldn't be that mother who fed her kids stuff like this, but here I

     am...it's one of the only 'meat' type foods that Connor will eat.

4.  Cheese--sliced cheese, those cute little block-cut cheese pieces, and the already shredded cheeses are a

     staple

5.  Formula--alas, no, I'm not breastfeeding Aidan.  I can't wait 'til Aidan switches to regular milk-- 

     taking this item off the list will cut down our bill dramatically!

I'm sure that next week, I could make an entirely new "must-have" list.

I either need to make a firm committment to shave off those unnessessary purchases--like that bag of York Peppermint Patties...mmmm, my favorite  (it was only a small bag!)

Or...

I need to look into alternative food sources..
    

Kiddos--2...Mommy and Daddy--0

Ever feel like you're fighting a losing battle? 

We're getting dangerously close some days to accepting defeat over here.  Just tonight, Richard and I tried to have a conversation about a small construction project we've been wanting to do for a few years and now have finally gotten down to actually...almost... having it done.  Our 5 minute conversation was literally stopped and started so many times that it took over 1 1/2 to finish!   

We are barely able to finish a sentence anymore.  Before we were 'kidded', we would sit in judgement when trying to visit with friends whose kids would so consume the energy in the room that our memory of the evening would consist only of started conversations and dropped lines of thought.  I remember being so scatter-brained coming away from get-togethers with families of young children . . .well, now we're that family. 

Sitting at the dinner table tonight, I'll bet we said, "Connor, don't interrupt", about 22 times.  Sometimes, I'll take a step back and try to gain some perspective on the state of our war on misbehavior and battles with discipline, and I'm agast at my leniency. 

A couple of months ago, Connor's willful lack of restraint shown tonight (I know that some of it is just pent-up energy) would've sent him to time-out about a dozen times; but, alas, by the end of the evening, my mommy-fatigue resorts only to empty threats to 'stop that' and 'don't do that'. 

Some of the most frequent imperatives in our house these days:

1.  Come back to the table right now, Connor.

2.  Sit in you chair and stop getting up until you've finished eating.

3.  Stop yelling at Aidan.  Be nice to your baby brother.

4.  Stop turning off and on the lights.

5.  Don't ask me that question again--you already know that answer! (usually after the 10th time asking the same question)

6.  Don't yell at Mommy or Daddy. 

7.  Stop interrupting!!!!!!!!

Inevitably, these demands are never met with compliant behavior.  So, usually, the next words out of our mouths are:

"Go sit in time-out!"

Richard and I both have a renewed appreciation for the aggravation that our parents had to endure and we are marvelling at their patience, restraint. . . and also at what few grey hairs they have despite our attempt to will every last hair to fade to white.

Nonetheless...

Our frustration tonight at the dinner table turned (as it usually does) from furrowed brows to giggles and smiles when Connor decided to interrupt that one..more..time.  That was it--it was going to be the time that Daddy was going to have to remove him from the table and take him into the bedroom for some special 'time out'.  Then Connor said, "Daddy, HUGS!!!", and he jumped down from the chair (that is #2 no no on the list) and ran over to Richard's chair to hug him (his hands were covered in fish stick crumbs) as if he just remembered that he wanted a hug.

It's like Connor knows just about the time that the fuse is about the blow. . .and then he delivers the final punch and completely takes control of the situation. 

We are such suckers!

All these pictures were taken by Connor (except the third one down) using his camera.  :-)

Play time

While making beds this morning, I heard doors start slamming...I just sighed and headed back to the boys' rooms--I'd left Aidan on his floor playing with one of Connor's old puzzles (I knew that was going to turn into an argument...Ugh!)
When I turned the corner, I saw Connor shutting Aidan's door. 

Me:  "Connor, don't shut Aidan up in his room--he might get scared."
Connor:  "But, Mommy, I'm going to work."
Aidan:  muffled "ya ya ya da da da ..."

I decided to play along. 

Me:  "Okay, but make it a quick day at work and come home and open the door, so Aidan doesn't get sad."

I backed off for a while to see how this would play out.  Keep in mind, usually Connor wants nothing to do with Aidan except to tell him not to play with his toys, not to make any sounds, and he spends an extraordinary amount of time moving his stuff away from Aidan's reach, even to the point that he can't even play with it.
I heard the door open back up...

Connor to Aidan:  "I'm home from work.  I had a good day"....and then a lot of chatter that I couldn't hear b/c the door was shut behind him.  Whoaa!
They were in there playing together.

I opened the door up--I'm excited about the playtime, but I'm not stupid...with these two, things can change very quickly.

Connor:  "No, Mommy, I'm playin wis Aidan!"
Aidan: squealing and grinning

So, playing with Aidan lasted about 20 minutes or so.  It was such a sweet feeling to hear them.  God has blessed us so much and now He's helping to grow my boys to love each other. 

.........Connor:  "NOOO, Aidan!!!"
Aidan:  crying

Well, it's definitely a process.  Welcome to daily reminders of our sinful hearts in need of Him.

Doodlebug #2

I've devoted most of my postings to Connor's antics...reasons being that, in life, the squeaky wheel usually does get the grease. 

I've always prided myself to be a fairly empathetic person by nature...I am very sensitive in a large gathering if someone else is being ignored and I always try to not to leave anyone out (This, of course, has brought me to very low depths of people-pleasing and insecurities about what others thought of me, etc...don't ask me why, I can't explain it.). 
Anyway, my hope was that this handicap could be used for good and serve me well as a mother of, now, two boys. 

Anyone who has two, with the first being very energetic and, yes, egocentric and the second being very quiet and patient, will tell you that it is a constant battle to convince the former (and sometimes yourself) that the latter needs as much attention.

Aidan will be 9 months old on March 10th, and over the course of the past 8 1/2 months, I've developed a much keener awareness to spot those moments when I can swoop in a be available to JUST Aidan.  PDO helps a lot--three days a week, Aidan and I get to roll around on the floor, play pat-a-cake and EVEN play with some of Connor's toys, all without interruption. 

I'm still trying to figure out the nature vs. nurture question in relation to Aidan's laid-back personality.  There was a lot of stress surrounding his arrival with my health in question and impending surgery for melanoma.  My parents stayed for a month to help.  From the 'old-school' of parenting, they helped us forget about trying to start "schedules" and such--Aidan ended up napping in the middle of a chaotic kitchen during meal preparation and play-doh sessions with Connor.  We were amazed at his ability to grab those zzzzz's anytime and any place. 

But, it was not just the sleeping.  Aidan was always very complacent...and not the negative sense of the word.  With everything else going on in ours lives at the time, here was this precious baby boy, so beautiful...so sweet, and he was here just waiting to get to know us and for us to get to know him.  It was as if he knew that our lives were turned upside down...I didn't know what God's plan was for me or how much time I had. 

He was so patient with us.  And, like any good baby brother and second child, when we finally turned our focus to him after all had the scariness melted away into our usual normal chaos, Aidan bore no ill will...he just smiled.

Best Friend

And, then there's 'Old Puppy'. He's a soft, brown and blue pull down musical puppy that grandma brought for him even before he was born.  It doesn't play anymore b/c he had to be put in the washing machine after many unfortunate vomiting/spit-up incidents.  

Old Puppy is Connor's best friend of sorts and certainly his comforter and lovie. I started putting puppy in the crib with him when he was around a year old. It didn't take long for Connor to latch on and now Old Puppy is required for a good night sleep, or for a good milk-drinking session. Connor never took a pacifier, so I never had to fight with him to give something like that up. I don't think that I'll ever ask him to give up Old Puppy--it's not a life-crutch in that he can leave it home when we take him to mommy's day out or to church, etc. But, as soon as Connor gets in trouble or is sad, his first instinct is to go a find Old Puppy (I think to have someone on his side); and, every morning and after naptime and dinnertime when he has a sippy full of milk on the couch, Old Puppy has to be there. Connor will sit drinking his milk and stroke Puppy's silky tag.  So sweet.

I'm excited to see what Aidan's lovie will be. 

Reading

To his mommy's and daddy's great joy, one of Connor's favorite things is to "read". One of the most predictable requests in our house from Connor is, "can you read me a book?"  We've read to him since he was a few weeks old--from 'Brown Bear' to 'Goodnight Moon' and now 'Thomas the Tank Engine' and R. Scarey's books. He loves them all. We're constantly amazed at his vocabulary and how he can pick up a book that we've not read in months and recite some of the sentences word for word. He gets so involved in the stories, he'll even skip over, what he calls, "scary parts" (which may be something as harmless as a thunderstorm or a nervous expression on a character's face).

We've started making regular trips to the library, which I must confess I had intended to do a long time ago but just haven't made a priority.  It's so cute when we go to the children's section of the library--Connor will pull books off the shelf and mull over the covers wondering whether or not he wants to check them out.  He'll say, "I think we need to bring this one home, Mommy." 

As a parent, and especially as a parent who did well and enjoyed school, I want to do everything possible to help him realize his potential in reading and other subjects.  One very controversial issue in our family was that Connor was not allowed to watch any television (including videos) until age 2--there was the occasional slip in the morning though (I am not a morning person anymore).   Richard did a much better job of holding firm to this rule--I would've caved long before age two if not for his insistance.  Looking back, I'm really glad that we resisted temptation--there were rare times when UNC basketball was on and, funly enough, the tv wasn't turned off (hmmm).

Now, at almost 3 years old, we've relaxed our rules for Connor to watch one or two cartoon in the morning after he wakes up and maybe watch a video (like curious george or veggie tales or elmo) after supper.  All in all, he averages about 1 hour a day.