The Russell house has been a bit louder than usual these past few weeks. Connor and Aidan have landed us smack dab in the middle of sibling rivalry H-E-double hockey sticks! Y'all it is awful. I have this secret dread that I've somehow caused it b/c of bad parenting or inconsistent discipline. I really don't care that 'all brothers fight', which is usually what I get whenever I vent to friends about this. I want a solution...NOW! I'm a red-head and I think that I spotted some grey hairs last night!
From the moment they get up, whenever one says something, the other one says "NO" or "don't say that" or pushes the other away. Connor gets so visibly angry at almost everything Aidan does and says; and, Aidan says,"No!" to almost everything that comes out of Connor's mouth.
Connor seems to find endless fun in torturing his younger brother. Like today, he noticed that Aidan was getting spooked by the thought of 'nightmares' and ghosts close to bedtime tonight--well, Connor wasted no time chanting about how there are nightmares down the hallway--so, I spent 30 minutes trying to unload the dishwater with a whining and clinging 2 yr old at my leg. Or, knowing what Aidan's reaction would be, Connor will remind Aidan that he has to go to school on PDO days and then says, "Well, you have to...you gotta make do." More whining.
Aidan, the instigator that he is combined with the desire to have anything of Connor's will see his older brother holding a toy and declare,"That mine!", then snatch and run. What comes next comes close to breaking the sound barrier as both boys tear through the house, one chasing the other. The end result is almost always a resnatch followed by wailing or the most avante garde worthy-of-academy-award-performance for any 4 yr old ever.
Oh, and the constant competition--this must be a guy thing cause I don't remember this one. Connor's all,"well, Aidan, I can stay up at naptime, and you have to go to sleep" or "Aidan, I can run faster than you cause I'm bigger" or "I'm first to do [anything]".
This mama is TIRED and FED UP!
Connor is fairly quick to forgive but r-e-a-l-l-y slow to apologize--usually, only to try and avoid punishment. Aidan is a speedy apologizer but refuses to forgive, out of spite I think. So, pretty much any quarreling situation is screwed from the start.
The only time that I've noticed these days when they do seem to play together without fighting is when they are plotting against me or encouraging each other to break a rule. There is safety in numbers after all...
My gut feeling is that Aidan has taken his cues from Connor, although he has a stinker streak in him too. I've made them each a 'kindness' star chart. It seemed to really make a difference the first 10 minutes or so. Then, Connor forgot about it in the midst of a project outside and I heard a hand slapping skin followed by Aidan screaming. 1...2...3...4...We are 2 days into this experiment, and do you know how many stickers they have? 2 each! In 48 hours! Ugh. Are my expectations too high?
I don't think that I'm going to resolve this issue with a few stars, or even this year. I'm hoping that the Lord will give wisdom, patience, and grace to deal with them without doing them bodily harm (you think I'm kidding?). And, I pray that He will use these hard days to sharpen their characters and warm their hearts toward each other and to draw them closer to Himself.
Lord, thy will be done...and, give me strength!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Goal!!!!!!
So, I don't want the fall to get away from me before I mention our first experience with organized sports. We signed Connor up for soccor this fall with a local city league. At first, I'm pretty sure that we were more excited than he was about the whole thing. Our little home-body was fairly slow to warm up to the idea, until he found out that daddy would be one of the coaches. For me as a mama, this is truly the kind of thing that I'd been waiting for, so I was double-y glad and relieved that his fear of the unknown turned to excitement.
The Cubs were not unlike the bad news bears in their abilities and in their desire to win. It was comical to see how many clouds or butterflies were more interesting than the soccor ball whizzing past these kids on the field while the exasperated dads/coaches yelled,"go, kick the ball...go get the ball!"
Connor really enjoyed the getting ready part for a practice or a game--for instance, the uniform (which consisted of a navy blue and white t-shirt, his own shorts, and shin-guards). The shin-guards were his favorite--and, they were.very.cool. He loved the high fives, the huddle cheers, and the end-of-quarter-water-breaks.
I guess it was merciful that he didn't care as much about the fact that they got creamed at about half their games. It was really sweet how clueless they were. Of course, their age-group division was without scoring and had no goalies, so the odds were that most of the kids had no idea how they were playing til they looked over at their cheering squad in the bleachers. And, ours was full of "go get 'ems" and "good hussles" and the like (so, they won every game).
It was exactly how I pictured my first time as a soccor mom. My bag was packed with brand new water bottles, my camera, and special surprise snacks for half-time. At first, I was a little shy to cheer; but, it didn't take long for me to swell so with pride that I was belting out those "way to go Connor" cheers with no hesitation. I'm not going to deny either that giant lump in my throat as I watched him go out there that first day in the blistering TX heat, my little brave man, and run his little heart out even though he was probably really scared b/c he didn't know any of the kids. And, my heart leaped when I realized that he was quickly making friends and began to not only enjoy being out there with Richard, but also he really enjoyed that HE was out there.period. He looked forward to going to games. I could tell that he walked a little taller (and a little farther away from me) over the course of those short two months. And, just to top off the whole experience (for mom and dad), he scored a goal--his only goal--the last second of the last play of the last game of the season! GGOOAAALL! I almost cried as a watched Richard pick him up and toss him into the air.
The Cubs were not unlike the bad news bears in their abilities and in their desire to win. It was comical to see how many clouds or butterflies were more interesting than the soccor ball whizzing past these kids on the field while the exasperated dads/coaches yelled,"go, kick the ball...go get the ball!"
Connor really enjoyed the getting ready part for a practice or a game--for instance, the uniform (which consisted of a navy blue and white t-shirt, his own shorts, and shin-guards). The shin-guards were his favorite--and, they were.very.cool. He loved the high fives, the huddle cheers, and the end-of-quarter-water-breaks.
I guess it was merciful that he didn't care as much about the fact that they got creamed at about half their games. It was really sweet how clueless they were. Of course, their age-group division was without scoring and had no goalies, so the odds were that most of the kids had no idea how they were playing til they looked over at their cheering squad in the bleachers. And, ours was full of "go get 'ems" and "good hussles" and the like (so, they won every game).
It was exactly how I pictured my first time as a soccor mom. My bag was packed with brand new water bottles, my camera, and special surprise snacks for half-time. At first, I was a little shy to cheer; but, it didn't take long for me to swell so with pride that I was belting out those "way to go Connor" cheers with no hesitation. I'm not going to deny either that giant lump in my throat as I watched him go out there that first day in the blistering TX heat, my little brave man, and run his little heart out even though he was probably really scared b/c he didn't know any of the kids. And, my heart leaped when I realized that he was quickly making friends and began to not only enjoy being out there with Richard, but also he really enjoyed that HE was out there.period. He looked forward to going to games. I could tell that he walked a little taller (and a little farther away from me) over the course of those short two months. And, just to top off the whole experience (for mom and dad), he scored a goal--his only goal--the last second of the last play of the last game of the season! GGOOAAALL! I almost cried as a watched Richard pick him up and toss him into the air.
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