I've not spent much time reflecting and recording here since late last year. The blog has never been a daily or even consistent thing...but, I do find myself reading back over old entries and remembering funny and precious memories that are slipping away with my crazy mommy-brain and I do wish that I would've been a bit more faithful. Although, I do realize that having those thousands of sweet unrecorded moments requires my presence WITH the kids and husband rather than in front of a screen.
I just don't want to forget, you know?!
Facebook is my fall-back. I've scrolled through my timeline smiling and tearing up watching the boys grow. The awesome thing about fb is that I get to also enjoy my family's and friend's enjoying these memories too.
I don't get much traffic here...I originally started this blog to be able it to give Connor and Aidan to reflect on there childhood from my perspective, loving and praying for them.
I want them to be able to look back on a particular trip or experience and remember that God's love for them was there, even in the trivial day to day trials. That He loved them enough to give them the awesomest grandparents in the history of grandparents...that he loved them so much that he gave them each other as brothers to grow, fight, learn from (good or bad) about what it means to be a man, that He loved them so much He gave them His Word which (hopefully) they can keep close to their hearts through memorizing scripture at church and home (although, right now that's like pulling teeth....BUT, they know their Mama feels that it's important!), that God is their refuge and strength in times of struggle and suffering, and that he is our Sovereign God and Creator. We are His!
I want them to know (if they ever read this little journal) that their Mama and Daddy loves them more than life itself and that we'd do anything for them. Lately, one way they try and trip the other up is to ask,"so, do you love--whatever--?" to which the other responds,"Yes." And, then he asks,"Well, do you love it more that God?" If a 'yes' follows this question, there is pause and then quick correction..,"err, um, NO!"
It's one thing to be able to SAY that you love God more than anything, but to really live it is SOOO hard. I think about how much I love them and love Richard and I truly don't think that I always DO love Him more. That's a really hard thing to admit. I pray that God will guide my steps and forgive my unbelief and my undeserving idolatrous heart. I want the boys to always know that we SHOULD love Him with ALL our heart, soul, mind, and strength...but, when they too fall short they can run to the Lord, fall at His feet and be forgiven for all their fallen-ness.
He is our deliverer, our all in all. One of my favorite songs is "In Christ Alone":
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the World by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44ogl6fjJ6c
Amen!
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