FIVE

Connor,

We still remember that cool, crisp Saturday morning that it became clear that we would meet you for the first time.  Daddy and I were so excited...and nervous.  We'd only known you as the little bean who kicked, especially at night, who made Mama lightheaded around 10am for some reason, who led to many discussions from "concerned" bystanders that maybe you were really two babies instead of one, and who liked to be supported on a pillow while Mama tried to sleep at night, and who had the most handsome profile on ultrasound that we'd ever seen.

After you were here, the nurse brought you to me.  I remember thinking that the light above my hospital bed must be too bright, b/c you squinted your eyes.  I thought that your brow was very thoughtful and discerning.  You had a small red, stork-bite on the back of your neck--further confirmation that you were our little gift from above.  You felt so good in my arms.  Daddy was amazed at you.  We stumbled through our first night with you--funny stories for another time--and brought you home the day before Easter, in the snow.

 Here we are 5 years later.  Connor, Mama and Daddy are so proud of the boy that you've become.  You are bright.....no....you are scary smart!  You love being outside.  Cammo is your new favorite ensemble.  You'd wear it every single day if I could keep up the laundry (heck, you wear it dirty some days).  You love to catch bugs and butterflies and you love to learn about bugs, snakes, scorpions, and other really creepy critters. 

 Your special friends right now are Sam, Nate, Jaxson, Jackson, Wes, Caleb, Gavin, David, and (even though you guys fight a lot) Aidan.  You have a very strong and opinionated personality when you are comfortable with your surroundings.  When you're not, you watch and wait and stick close to us.  You think a lot.  Sometimes, long after I've forgotten, you reveal a decision you've made or a conclusion you've come to about a certain interaction or struggle that made an impact on you. 

 I didn't realize that while you played soccor all spring, you were a bit anxious about running ahead of us and striking out on your own whenever we arrived at the fields.  One day, you ran ahead and joined your team while we were still getting out of the car.  Later, you exclaimed (triumphantly) "I ran out onto the field all by myself!"  Brave boy!  I didn't even know you'd had that particular anxiety.  I loved watching you overcome those personal obstacles. 

I've learned as your Mama that you find situations more comfortable when you know ahead of time what's happening and have a bit of preparation.  Our first trip to the dentist last year made you so nervous.  But, we talked a lot ahead of time about what the dentist would do and what she would say.  You also liked talking over some things that you could say if she asked you questions.  (you're a pleaser like mama).  You did so great!  She asked you what grade you were in at school and (just like we'd practiced) you confidently told her, "I'm in pre-kindergarten". 

Your pre-kindergarten teachers this past year were Mrs. Stephanie and Mrs. Kelley.  We all loved them very much.  Every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday you'd come home with happy stories of playground fun, centers with friends, crafts, and field trips.

You love art, especially painting.  The picture above you painted and named it "outer space".  Your teachers at school and church say that you spend a lot of time and concentration on the colors of your various projects.  (incidently, your favorite color is usually purple, but sometimes it's this purplish red color)

Your most recent passion is numbers.  You love to count and love to ask us (over and over again) how high we can count or if we can count to a certain, specific number.  You've learned that infinity is never-ending and that googol or googoflex (?) is the highest number ?imagined or counted?  I don't fully understand exactly what you know about this.
Grandma gave you a simple addition workbook and you've been obscessed with the math problems--you are really good at it too!

And, finally, you love maps and finding your way from point A to point B.  You know all the states between TX and NC.  A game we've played on occasion involves me drawing a map of the house and making marks from a certain starting point to a mysterious X where some secret treasure can be found.  You love this game and usually want to play it over and over.

I'm so thankful that you also seem to, in your own five-year-old-way, truly have faith in your Savior.  I know that the true understanding of Jesus and His sacrifice is not yet fully realized (not sure if it is for me on a daily basis either), but you know it and accept what Jesus did for us as Truth.  I will continue to pray that God will work on your heart, dear Connor, this year sharpen your character into His perfect Will for you. 

I love you sweetie,

Mama