Bye Bye Baby

My sweet, smiley, baby Aidan is no longer a baby as of June 10th.  We celebrated his 1st birthday during a trip to Tennessee visiting Richard's family.  One of Richard's dad's friends was very thoughtful and baked Aidan his very on birthday cake, complete with the #1 candle and sprinkles on top. 

It has been an amazing year in so many ways--most of which, Aidan has just been an observer like us of how God's mercy and blessings have been so rich for us.  Just one year ago, we thought we'd be moving to NC  (my dream-come-true) for Richard to start teaching at Elon University.  Did I mention that it was only 2 hours or so from my family. Two. Hours.

During the past 370 odd days since Aidan was born, He has so graciously provided: a healthy baby in Aidan, born to a mother who was secretly fearing the spread of cancer to this beautiful, innocent boy, miraculous outcomes after my second melanoma with NO spread that the doctors can find, financial and job security for Richard (and me), a very supportive family and friends, and a peace about the decision to stay in TX.  Our decision this time---much easier for me this go round. 

God's plan is so much more perfect than ours. Proverbs 16:9 says, "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."

We've since learned that the Elon job is no longer....it was not advertised the next term.  We could've gotten there and, the economy being what it is, the job could've been nixed.  So scary! 

As we watched Aidan explore his first taste of being one, I was looking backwards and forwards and putting it all together wondering what this next year would bring for our little Aidan.

At one, Aidan is becoming true to his name more and more---it means "fiery".  We are starting to see a bit of personality evolving out of our once (and most-of-the-time still) laid back boy. 

Words to describe Aidan:  adventureous, determined, stubborn, watchful (mostly of Connor), loud, smiley, tall, relentless, happy, hungry, and physical.

For us as parents, we will not have the same journey that we've had with Connor.  Aidan is definitely going to be different. 

He's in to everything and we'll need to baby-proof sooo much more than with Connor. 

Aidan doesn't "ask" permission before he goes after something--Connor was definitely looked to us for the okay more. 

He sees the big object to climb or fist-pump whereas Connor saw the speck of dirt on the big object. 

Reading books to Aidan goes like this:  open book. read first sentence or word. pull book out of Aidan's mouth. pick up book after you drop it b/c Aidan has punched it with his hands or his head. 

He puts everything in his mouth--never a worry for us with Connor.  I think that Aidan ate a millipede the other day.  Ugh!  We, lovingly, call him our billy goat.  I can't believe that we've made it a whole year without calling poison control. 

Happy 1st birthday little man.  I love you and I love being your mama.

Trying to not hate summer

A few weeks ago it started.  Though, it was pretty sneaky this year.  Summer snuck in and out for a couple of weeks, which, I guess, was kind of the polite thing for it to do.  (That is, of course, the normal way spring gives way to summer...everywhere above this general latitude.) 

I was so ready with a millions gripes each morning, but they were swept away by a cool morning breeze while we ate our breakfast with the kitchen/screened porch door open (so nice, and so unusual that time of year).

The dreaded, heavy, and stiffling hot air of summer is finally here even during our breakfasts now.  But, somehow, that few weeks of morning reprieves have softened my resolve to hate everything about this infamously Texan season. 

Well, that...and the pool.
I have to say that I am excited about going to the pool this year.  Normally, anything that had to do with me and a bathing suite was so uncomfortable to me.  I'm not sure if I'm becoming less modest, less embarrassed, or more demented.

My swim suite this year is one of those 'granny' types with a skirt on the bottom but a cute, youthful tank on top.  I must admit, I've never been more comfortable in a suite.  Well....they put 18 year olds in them in those department store catalogs, so I thought 'why not?'.
Connor was so ready. Even in April, he would just blurt out of nowhere, "Mommy, why is summer taking so long? I want to go to the pool today!"

A lesson in patience, or the lack of it, is certainly not lost, even on a 3 year old.

There are only so many times we can water the plants or wash the cars to satisfy this child's craving to splash and swim.

And, we love...love...love the pool at Baylor. It's indoors, so no worries about sunburns on my, very obviously, paler-than-life boys.

In this picture, Connor's lips even look blue. We'd been in the pool for about an hour and I think he'd gotten a little chilly. Don't worry, he quickly pinked up and stopped chattering.

 

We employed a very fun but very obnoxious floating donkey some of our time in the water for Aidan.  Mostly he just wanted out to be held in the water so he could splash; but, when he was in it, one of us was free to pull him and do a few "laps".  By "lap" I mean something resembling a back-stroke while pulling a giant blue donkey shaped floating seat that accomodated a giggling 11 month old, while making googly faces at said 11 month old.  Also, not to embarrass myself further, but it really must be said:  the 'lap' was performed going with the current of a lazy river.  There. 

And, I can't wait to go back tomorrow and do it all over again.

All Quiet on this Western Front

As of 9am yesterday morning, this house has become so quiet.  Connor and Richard left for Memphis bound for Aunt Marjorie's and Uncle Herb's and Cousin Vincent's house.  Richard has a conference in Nova Scotia and Connor will spend several days with Vincent while he's gone. 

It's amazing how removing one child from the house can so completely change it's dynamic.  As you can see below, Connor's voice dominates our world on a daily basis.

Since they've been gone:  for two days now, Aidan has taken two hour naps twice a day and still gone to sleep at bedtime without problems; I've discovered that Aidan can say (among other things) "da da", "na na", "ba ba", "ya ya", and "a-da"; we DO have birds that sing in our backyard; and, that our refrigerator has an automatic drippy something or other thing that happens every other day that I'd never noticed before and thought was it breaking down but actually is something that it's been doing since we got it to prevent over freezing and I'd never been able to hear it before.

(Richard would be so disappointed in all those run-on sentences.)

Auditory liberation has had a great price, though.  It was so hard to say good-bye to my bright, sweet, and yes, my very loud boy yesterday.  I cried off and on all morning.  Even when I was offering Aidan some of my cheese toast, I burst into tears while telling Aidan,"This is Connor's favorite." 

Of course, Aidan, just stared at me like "this is really fascinating....so, the big people cry too?!"  Then he just broke out in this devilish grin and kicked his legs back and forth.  I imagined that he was thinking that, finally, he'd get to ride Connor's scooter.

So, we did.

No, No, No

Our little stinker poo Aidan is starting to prove to be as strong-willed as his name (from the gaelic meaning "fiery") and his hair color (I know from experience...hee hee).

One of his favorite things is to climb up next to our tall windows and run his fingers across the blinds like a little xylophone and then bang them like a drum....and then, of course, find somehow to put them in his mouth.

I decided to, rather that just moving him to a different spot (which inevitable leads to him just crawling right back), I tried a different tactic.  Every time his little, droolie hands touched the blinds, I grabbed that arm and pulled it away and said,"NO". 

He was not impressed.

I could just hear those brain waves whirling around.....must.touch.blinds.....

After about three or four times of this the verbal protests started and the angry monkey shrieks emerged.  AAAACH  AAAACH.
(Stop doing that Mama!!!)

Then, he changed his strategy. 

Test....Test....Test...

Those little fingers waved right up to the blinds without touching them and then moved away.  Then up to the blinds again.  

Do you see me?

I saw those impish eyes dart toward me, checking for clearance.  I think I detected a little bit of a flirty grin forming when he saw that I was watching him. 

I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna touch it....You can't stop me....Nah Nah Nee Boo Boo....

"No, No, No little Aidan!"

It took about 28 times pulling his hand away before he decided that the ottoman to the chair was more exciting than the blinds. 

So far, the score is Aidan 989, Mommy 1.

Drunk with power, I left the room to get a celebratory diet Sunkist (my treat these days) only to walk back into the room less than a minute later to find the cutest little sinner in the whole world with the blinds in his mouth. 

Blogger's block

Keeping with my usual pattern of starting a journal and not finishing, I've been neglecting even the blogosphere.  Frustration has set in which makes it even harder to get back into it.  Everyday, there is always at least one crazy or precious thing that happens that I want to always remember--but somewhere in between all the chaos and details that have to be addressed just to be able to sit down and type, my motivation to do anything other than veg-out on the couch during naptime is an overwhelming temptation. 

I need one of those voice-activated keyboards and just narrate my day for the record....maybe even include a soundtrack in the background for effect.

Take today, for example:
feeding Aidan inevitably led into a few rounds of "apples and bananas", which caused Connor to erupt into a fit of laughter after he yells, "what's a ban-ii-n-ii?", and then Aidan laughed, which led to me and him being covered in fruit and oatmeal.

And, seeing Richard give me one of those "I love you so much and I'm so glad your here" looks before he kisses me and walks out the door could be dubbed over with "just.you.know.why....why you and I....know true love ways" (love love love Buddy Holly).

What about later today, when our power went out for a few hours--Connor started running around the house flipping all the light switches and opening and closing the refrigerator door, amazed that no light came on....and a little weirded out that the "mens will have to come to [our] house to fix it"....I could totally hear REM chanting "it's the end of the world as we know it".

My favorite songs, however, on this life album are the cacophonic, yodel-ly, and often hear-splitting "music" that my two little budding composers perform for me on a daily basis. 

My Big Boy is 3!

March 31st, Connor turned 3 years old.  I can't believe that it's been three years.

 I can remember those little fists and feet pushing against my growing belly.   And, I was so proud of my pregnant tummy when I got to start wearing those maternity clothes.  It was like a badge of honor.  My baby.  I couldn't believe that God was giving us a baby.                                          

The picture below was taken the day before I went into labor. 
I can remember that night Richard took my cellphone with him to the Poetry Festival that was going on that

weekend at Baylor. Richard still doesn't own a cell and, then, he really didn't even know how to answer the thing when it rang. 

Well, I got a call from a patient--I was on call--and had to go out to their house to fix an IV pump.

I tried to call Richard on his cell phone to let him know that I'd be gone if he tried to call--no answer after three tries.  I figured that he couldn't hear it ringing at the loud reception or either he just didn't know how to answer it.  I waited a minute or two for him to call back, just in case. 

When I got back, he met me at the door with a paniced look on his face.  He'd seen the three missed calls and tried to call home; but, when there was no answer, he'd left the reception and raced home expecting to find me "passed out on the floor in labor" or "bleeding out, trying to get to the hospital alone". 

He was so nervous about how he would "perform" in his first role as "daddy".  That night, getting home, he burned about a half of a tank of gas zooming from Baylor to our house (about a 6 mile trip)!

                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Lo and behold!  the next morning at around 7am, my water broke!  I'd gotten up around 4 am, couldn't sleep--nothing unusual at that point--and had dozed back off on the den couch when it happened.    

Honestly, I thought that I had become incontinent!  

Richard jumped up from the bed when he heard me frantically run into the bathroom.  When I, embarrassingly, told him what (I thought) had happened, he wasn't so blind to the situation.  "You're in labor!" 

I wasn't convinced.  It was two weeks early.  First babies are never early, right?  And, besides, I didn't have any pain.  I didn't want to be one of those women who showed up to labor and delivery NOT in labor.  I am a nurse, after all--I should know exactly the minute I am in labor. 

Finally, I ended up on the phone to the wonderful ladies at the labor and delivery nurses station and told them what happened.  The nurse I spoke to told me to "just come on and let us check you" and "not to worry about it".  So we did.  And I was.

It was about 9am when we made our way into the main entrance of Hillcrest.  The sky was so blue...a carolina blue sky... and the air was nice a crisp.  It was just a week before Easter and everything was beautiful.  I can remember looking up and making a point to remember that moment, how beautiful the day that my baby boy was to be born--I was so thankful for ...everything.

 At 6pm, Connor Gray Russell was born.  Richard remembers that "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey was playing on the radio in the delivery room...how fitting.  We will "hold on to that feeling" forever.

                                                                                                                                                         

Things we can't live without

A lot of thought these days has gone into reducing out grocery store, etc. budget--after the recent credit card statement showed way. . .too. . .much spent nearly every 7 days or so at HEB.  In my mind, I thought that my market trips were averaging about every 2 weeks or so, but the bill does not lie.

I've tried to cut coupons, but usually I only find coupons for the stuff that I don't need but then end up buying anyway...or I just forget the coupons at home over and over again until they expire. 

My organization in this venture is VERY lacking. 

I've also tried better meal planning to prevent those extra impulsive trips to the store.  But, inevitably, I realize that we're low on eggs or milk right after I get home and have to go back in a couple of days--when I usually spend just as much money as I did just a few days prior.  How is that possible?!!

Richard is not completely innocent in this either.  His trips (on the sly mind you) consist of expensive coffee, chocolate desserts, and imported beer.  I'm sure the cashiers are laughing to themselves when they see him coming.

There are, however, a few items that, regardless of when the last trip was, we have to replenish our stock if out:

1.  Ketsup--Connor wouldn't eat half of his food if he couldn't dip it in ketsup.

2.  Milk--Connor and Richard alone drink about 3 gallons of milk a week!

3.  Chicken nuggets--I always said that I wouldn't be that mother who fed her kids stuff like this, but here I

     am...it's one of the only 'meat' type foods that Connor will eat.

4.  Cheese--sliced cheese, those cute little block-cut cheese pieces, and the already shredded cheeses are a

     staple

5.  Formula--alas, no, I'm not breastfeeding Aidan.  I can't wait 'til Aidan switches to regular milk-- 

     taking this item off the list will cut down our bill dramatically!

I'm sure that next week, I could make an entirely new "must-have" list.

I either need to make a firm committment to shave off those unnessessary purchases--like that bag of York Peppermint Patties...mmmm, my favorite  (it was only a small bag!)

Or...

I need to look into alternative food sources..
    

Kiddos--2...Mommy and Daddy--0

Ever feel like you're fighting a losing battle? 

We're getting dangerously close some days to accepting defeat over here.  Just tonight, Richard and I tried to have a conversation about a small construction project we've been wanting to do for a few years and now have finally gotten down to actually...almost... having it done.  Our 5 minute conversation was literally stopped and started so many times that it took over 1 1/2 to finish!   

We are barely able to finish a sentence anymore.  Before we were 'kidded', we would sit in judgement when trying to visit with friends whose kids would so consume the energy in the room that our memory of the evening would consist only of started conversations and dropped lines of thought.  I remember being so scatter-brained coming away from get-togethers with families of young children . . .well, now we're that family. 

Sitting at the dinner table tonight, I'll bet we said, "Connor, don't interrupt", about 22 times.  Sometimes, I'll take a step back and try to gain some perspective on the state of our war on misbehavior and battles with discipline, and I'm agast at my leniency. 

A couple of months ago, Connor's willful lack of restraint shown tonight (I know that some of it is just pent-up energy) would've sent him to time-out about a dozen times; but, alas, by the end of the evening, my mommy-fatigue resorts only to empty threats to 'stop that' and 'don't do that'. 

Some of the most frequent imperatives in our house these days:

1.  Come back to the table right now, Connor.

2.  Sit in you chair and stop getting up until you've finished eating.

3.  Stop yelling at Aidan.  Be nice to your baby brother.

4.  Stop turning off and on the lights.

5.  Don't ask me that question again--you already know that answer! (usually after the 10th time asking the same question)

6.  Don't yell at Mommy or Daddy. 

7.  Stop interrupting!!!!!!!!

Inevitably, these demands are never met with compliant behavior.  So, usually, the next words out of our mouths are:

"Go sit in time-out!"

Richard and I both have a renewed appreciation for the aggravation that our parents had to endure and we are marvelling at their patience, restraint. . . and also at what few grey hairs they have despite our attempt to will every last hair to fade to white.

Nonetheless...

Our frustration tonight at the dinner table turned (as it usually does) from furrowed brows to giggles and smiles when Connor decided to interrupt that one..more..time.  That was it--it was going to be the time that Daddy was going to have to remove him from the table and take him into the bedroom for some special 'time out'.  Then Connor said, "Daddy, HUGS!!!", and he jumped down from the chair (that is #2 no no on the list) and ran over to Richard's chair to hug him (his hands were covered in fish stick crumbs) as if he just remembered that he wanted a hug.

It's like Connor knows just about the time that the fuse is about the blow. . .and then he delivers the final punch and completely takes control of the situation. 

We are such suckers!

All these pictures were taken by Connor (except the third one down) using his camera.  :-)

Play time

While making beds this morning, I heard doors start slamming...I just sighed and headed back to the boys' rooms--I'd left Aidan on his floor playing with one of Connor's old puzzles (I knew that was going to turn into an argument...Ugh!)
When I turned the corner, I saw Connor shutting Aidan's door. 

Me:  "Connor, don't shut Aidan up in his room--he might get scared."
Connor:  "But, Mommy, I'm going to work."
Aidan:  muffled "ya ya ya da da da ..."

I decided to play along. 

Me:  "Okay, but make it a quick day at work and come home and open the door, so Aidan doesn't get sad."

I backed off for a while to see how this would play out.  Keep in mind, usually Connor wants nothing to do with Aidan except to tell him not to play with his toys, not to make any sounds, and he spends an extraordinary amount of time moving his stuff away from Aidan's reach, even to the point that he can't even play with it.
I heard the door open back up...

Connor to Aidan:  "I'm home from work.  I had a good day"....and then a lot of chatter that I couldn't hear b/c the door was shut behind him.  Whoaa!
They were in there playing together.

I opened the door up--I'm excited about the playtime, but I'm not stupid...with these two, things can change very quickly.

Connor:  "No, Mommy, I'm playin wis Aidan!"
Aidan: squealing and grinning

So, playing with Aidan lasted about 20 minutes or so.  It was such a sweet feeling to hear them.  God has blessed us so much and now He's helping to grow my boys to love each other. 

.........Connor:  "NOOO, Aidan!!!"
Aidan:  crying

Well, it's definitely a process.  Welcome to daily reminders of our sinful hearts in need of Him.

Doodlebug #2

I've devoted most of my postings to Connor's antics...reasons being that, in life, the squeaky wheel usually does get the grease. 

I've always prided myself to be a fairly empathetic person by nature...I am very sensitive in a large gathering if someone else is being ignored and I always try to not to leave anyone out (This, of course, has brought me to very low depths of people-pleasing and insecurities about what others thought of me, etc...don't ask me why, I can't explain it.). 
Anyway, my hope was that this handicap could be used for good and serve me well as a mother of, now, two boys. 

Anyone who has two, with the first being very energetic and, yes, egocentric and the second being very quiet and patient, will tell you that it is a constant battle to convince the former (and sometimes yourself) that the latter needs as much attention.

Aidan will be 9 months old on March 10th, and over the course of the past 8 1/2 months, I've developed a much keener awareness to spot those moments when I can swoop in a be available to JUST Aidan.  PDO helps a lot--three days a week, Aidan and I get to roll around on the floor, play pat-a-cake and EVEN play with some of Connor's toys, all without interruption. 

I'm still trying to figure out the nature vs. nurture question in relation to Aidan's laid-back personality.  There was a lot of stress surrounding his arrival with my health in question and impending surgery for melanoma.  My parents stayed for a month to help.  From the 'old-school' of parenting, they helped us forget about trying to start "schedules" and such--Aidan ended up napping in the middle of a chaotic kitchen during meal preparation and play-doh sessions with Connor.  We were amazed at his ability to grab those zzzzz's anytime and any place. 

But, it was not just the sleeping.  Aidan was always very complacent...and not the negative sense of the word.  With everything else going on in ours lives at the time, here was this precious baby boy, so beautiful...so sweet, and he was here just waiting to get to know us and for us to get to know him.  It was as if he knew that our lives were turned upside down...I didn't know what God's plan was for me or how much time I had. 

He was so patient with us.  And, like any good baby brother and second child, when we finally turned our focus to him after all had the scariness melted away into our usual normal chaos, Aidan bore no ill will...he just smiled.

Best Friend

And, then there's 'Old Puppy'. He's a soft, brown and blue pull down musical puppy that grandma brought for him even before he was born.  It doesn't play anymore b/c he had to be put in the washing machine after many unfortunate vomiting/spit-up incidents.  

Old Puppy is Connor's best friend of sorts and certainly his comforter and lovie. I started putting puppy in the crib with him when he was around a year old. It didn't take long for Connor to latch on and now Old Puppy is required for a good night sleep, or for a good milk-drinking session. Connor never took a pacifier, so I never had to fight with him to give something like that up. I don't think that I'll ever ask him to give up Old Puppy--it's not a life-crutch in that he can leave it home when we take him to mommy's day out or to church, etc. But, as soon as Connor gets in trouble or is sad, his first instinct is to go a find Old Puppy (I think to have someone on his side); and, every morning and after naptime and dinnertime when he has a sippy full of milk on the couch, Old Puppy has to be there. Connor will sit drinking his milk and stroke Puppy's silky tag.  So sweet.

I'm excited to see what Aidan's lovie will be. 

Reading

To his mommy's and daddy's great joy, one of Connor's favorite things is to "read". One of the most predictable requests in our house from Connor is, "can you read me a book?"  We've read to him since he was a few weeks old--from 'Brown Bear' to 'Goodnight Moon' and now 'Thomas the Tank Engine' and R. Scarey's books. He loves them all. We're constantly amazed at his vocabulary and how he can pick up a book that we've not read in months and recite some of the sentences word for word. He gets so involved in the stories, he'll even skip over, what he calls, "scary parts" (which may be something as harmless as a thunderstorm or a nervous expression on a character's face).

We've started making regular trips to the library, which I must confess I had intended to do a long time ago but just haven't made a priority.  It's so cute when we go to the children's section of the library--Connor will pull books off the shelf and mull over the covers wondering whether or not he wants to check them out.  He'll say, "I think we need to bring this one home, Mommy." 

As a parent, and especially as a parent who did well and enjoyed school, I want to do everything possible to help him realize his potential in reading and other subjects.  One very controversial issue in our family was that Connor was not allowed to watch any television (including videos) until age 2--there was the occasional slip in the morning though (I am not a morning person anymore).   Richard did a much better job of holding firm to this rule--I would've caved long before age two if not for his insistance.  Looking back, I'm really glad that we resisted temptation--there were rare times when UNC basketball was on and, funly enough, the tv wasn't turned off (hmmm).

Now, at almost 3 years old, we've relaxed our rules for Connor to watch one or two cartoon in the morning after he wakes up and maybe watch a video (like curious george or veggie tales or elmo) after supper.  All in all, he averages about 1 hour a day.