The Russell house has been a bit louder than usual these past few weeks. Connor and Aidan have landed us smack dab in the middle of sibling rivalry H-E-double hockey sticks! Y'all it is awful. I have this secret dread that I've somehow caused it b/c of bad parenting or inconsistent discipline. I really don't care that 'all brothers fight', which is usually what I get whenever I vent to friends about this. I want a solution...NOW! I'm a red-head and I think that I spotted some grey hairs last night!
From the moment they get up, whenever one says something, the other one says "NO" or "don't say that" or pushes the other away. Connor gets so visibly angry at almost everything Aidan does and says; and, Aidan says,"No!" to almost everything that comes out of Connor's mouth.
Connor seems to find endless fun in torturing his younger brother. Like today, he noticed that Aidan was getting spooked by the thought of 'nightmares' and ghosts close to bedtime tonight--well, Connor wasted no time chanting about how there are nightmares down the hallway--so, I spent 30 minutes trying to unload the dishwater with a whining and clinging 2 yr old at my leg. Or, knowing what Aidan's reaction would be, Connor will remind Aidan that he has to go to school on PDO days and then says, "Well, you have to...you gotta make do." More whining.
Aidan, the instigator that he is combined with the desire to have anything of Connor's will see his older brother holding a toy and declare,"That mine!", then snatch and run. What comes next comes close to breaking the sound barrier as both boys tear through the house, one chasing the other. The end result is almost always a resnatch followed by wailing or the most avante garde worthy-of-academy-award-performance for any 4 yr old ever.
Oh, and the constant competition--this must be a guy thing cause I don't remember this one. Connor's all,"well, Aidan, I can stay up at naptime, and you have to go to sleep" or "Aidan, I can run faster than you cause I'm bigger" or "I'm first to do [anything]".
This mama is TIRED and FED UP!
Connor is fairly quick to forgive but r-e-a-l-l-y slow to apologize--usually, only to try and avoid punishment. Aidan is a speedy apologizer but refuses to forgive, out of spite I think. So, pretty much any quarreling situation is screwed from the start.
The only time that I've noticed these days when they do seem to play together without fighting is when they are plotting against me or encouraging each other to break a rule. There is safety in numbers after all...
My gut feeling is that Aidan has taken his cues from Connor, although he has a stinker streak in him too. I've made them each a 'kindness' star chart. It seemed to really make a difference the first 10 minutes or so. Then, Connor forgot about it in the midst of a project outside and I heard a hand slapping skin followed by Aidan screaming. 1...2...3...4...We are 2 days into this experiment, and do you know how many stickers they have? 2 each! In 48 hours! Ugh. Are my expectations too high?
I don't think that I'm going to resolve this issue with a few stars, or even this year. I'm hoping that the Lord will give wisdom, patience, and grace to deal with them without doing them bodily harm (you think I'm kidding?). And, I pray that He will use these hard days to sharpen their characters and warm their hearts toward each other and to draw them closer to Himself.
Lord, thy will be done...and, give me strength!
No comments:
Post a Comment